Journey to another world: Eve the Themepark

Come dear reader; let me transport you to another dimension, a world of mystery and intrigue, a place of inversion. In this world the trouser leg of time has split us from our world by the simple factor of a place of birth. Eve online was not born out of the harsh apocalyptically beautiful and desolate wastes of Iceland, but instead from the fertile grounds of California USA.

Its original founders (not Reynir Harðarson, Þorolfur Beck and Ívar Kristjánsson; but Ryan Hardon, Theodor Beck and Ian Kirtinger) were similar to our counter parts in many ways. The same entrepreneurial spirit, love of space, D&D and trade which has made the eve online we know and love. But not everything they create is the same, especially not eve.

The first and foremost difference (for an eve players point of view) was the release date of eve online. Ryan, Theodor and Ian delayed the development of eve online in order to take a College Fraternity trip to South Africa. As a result eve online was released in 2005 (not 2003) after World of Warcraft; two years made a big difference. Perhaps the best way to see this is to look at the latest expansion built by “USS Games”, Eve Online: Retribution.

At EveCon 2012 Henry-Victor Peterson Jr III (the current CEO of USS Games) announced that Retribution would bring a mass of new features to eve online, including balance changes and fresh content for raid players. Key to this expansion ($14 in any game store) was the new Raid Dungeon based around a familiar (to our dimention) name, the raid, named “The Swarm” and contains 4 new raid bosses who drop the Tokens for Tier 9 Modules (sold by CONCORD). As you will see from the Raid bosses, it would seem that Goonswarm in this reality is also a major content generator for eve, but in a very different way.

Boss One: GoonWaffe

This first boss is actually started as soon as the fleet enters the Raid Instance, initiated in the Ice belt of Ala (Sinq Laison region). Players warping to this belt can talk to an agent who gives them a mission to mine 400 units of Ice, once accepted players are instanced into the dungeon and the boss fight begins. Despite the easy looking nature of this first mission the boss(es) it spawns are actually a form of tank check for your raid group. Once you’re Fleet beings harvesting the Ice wave after wave of Thrashers warp into the belt and attempt to destroy your group. If you manage to survive this you will then be able to use the ice to jump your ships deep into Delkin for the second boss…

Boss Two: Sh1tp0st3r

Phase one of this boss is a simple tank and spank against a buffer fit drake (the boss). However once you get it to 50% shield, the drake will dock up in a station and begin local spamming awful memes and cliché phrases, while playing docking games. At this stage a dialogue will start between your designated raid leader (FC), and the final boss Mittens. While the fleet maintains 100% bubble coverage of the station containing Sh1tp0st3r, the raid leader will need to convince Mittens that Sh1tp0st3r is a shit enough poster to require Mittens to actually log on and ban him from Goonswarm (and Something Awful). If you are successful the next time Sh1tp0st3r’s drake undocks, he will be removed from Goonswarm alliance and thus be unable to dock again, allowing your raid to finish this, once again, simple tank and spank.

Boss Three: Assault on the Ministry of Love

Now you have awoken Mittens from his deep slumber it’s time to bring your fleet to try and destroy him. However first you must penetrate fortress Delkin, and assassinate Mittens Prime Guard, the fearsome Ministry of Love. This is your standard fleet fight with about 6-7 Carriers, 400 MWD drakes and a smattering of support Rifters.

Final Boss: The Mittani

This will be a tough one. The Mittani will appear on grid in a Nyx and begin a relentless assault on the remains of your fleet, supported by a mass of rifters. Your fleet must destroy the endless supply of carrier fighters, and rifters deployed by his Nyx while holding a tackle on him. At the same time you will need to protect an industrial ship who will ferry a supply of Russian Vodka (which you will remember earning in the previous Raid “Befriending XXXDeath”) into the Nyx’s fleet hanger. Progress on this boss can be judged by the monolog in local coming from Mittens, which will get more and more slurred as you shovel vodka into the Nyx. Eventually The Mittani will make a slight faux pas in local and you simply have to stay alive for 5 minutes while “Gaming Media Corporation” spins the event wildly out of proportion, and Mittens is banned from the game for 1 month. Unfortunately this won’t make a blind bit of difference to the Swarm fleet, who will continue to spawn until you die or run away.

This raid has no effect on standings but will actually increase Goonswarms Sov holdings.

Other features in retribution:

Bounty hunting: A new NPC has been added to some systems, these give out daily quests to kill an NPC across the galaxy for ISK.

Kill rights: we found a bug where players could attack other players outside of the battle grounds. This has been removed from the game.

Ship balancing: all the ships have been made exactly the same, except with different names on the Skills given by modules.

Now return to our world, return and enjoy our reality, where eve is not just another wow clone in space. Be grateful as I am that CCP was born will all its Icelandic quirks and produce the wonderful and unique game that we know as eve online.

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